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Elderly mom died and left her money & assets to a friend that cared for her

Elderly mom died and left her money & assets to a friend that cared for her

“I can’t believe mum left all her cash to a friend who cared for her.”

Daily Mirror’s Coleen Nolan helped this struggling single woman who is ‘hurt and confused’ after her mum left her no money in her will but instead gave it all to her friend.


“Sadly, my elderly mum died a few weeks ago, but I was shocked and upset to find out she’d left what money and assets she had to a friend who had cared for her over the last couple of years of her life.

Of course I would have expected my mum to leave this friend something because she was so good to her, but not everything.

I’m a single woman and work hard to pay the bills, and my mum must have known that money would have helped me.

Also, it’s not just about the financial stuff – it’s the fact that she thought more of this woman than she thought of me. Well, that’s what it feels like.

Am I a bad person to feel this way when my mum died? It’s consuming my thoughts every day and I’m ­struggling to believe she actually did it.

I don’t want it to all be about money, but I feel hurt and confused.”

Coleen Nolan replied:

I don’t think you’re bad to feel this way and I understand you being shocked and disappointed, but I don’t think it’s going to help to dwell on it.

It was her money to do with as she pleased – she could have left it to charity but she chose this friend.

Perhaps she felt she wanted to give something back to this woman who had spent a lot of time caring for her.

I don’t think it means she didn’t love you and it certainly doesn’t mean she valued this friend above you.

In fact, she left you the things that really meant something to her – her wedding and engagement rings and other jewellery that was precious, and the family photographs.

Maybe there’s a message in that to you – this is what’s important in life: things that have special memories attached to them and to remind you of those important family relationships.

I think it’s hard for you at the moment because your grief is still raw, but hopefully, in time, you’ll be able to appreciate that she had her reasons for making these decisions.

I think bereavement counselling would also help you to come to terms with things.

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Shire offers assistance to Service Providers – Continuous personal development of staff servicing retirement villages, such as:

  • Carers
  • Managers
  • Trustees

To contact us, click here.

An unusual approach to architectural design to help the elderly with mental problems

An unusual approach to architectural design to help the elderly with mental problems

Robertas Lisickis, BoredPanda staff member wrote in his article:

This Nursing Home For The Elderly With Mental Problems Took An Unusual Approach To Design

None of us can honestly predict what life will be like for us when we retire. While many spend their golden years doing whatever they always wanted to but never could, some aren’t so lucky.

The body grows weak and the risk of physical as well as mental illness increases significantly as the years go by. The time that many of us are prematurely planning to be spent finally writing that book or finally getting that hobby workshop set up may be cut short by things like Alzheimer’s or Dementia.

A nursing home in Ohio that takes care of many elderly people that are suffering from memory problems decided to rethink the traditional nursing home formula.

An assisted living facility in Ohio decided to break with tradition when it comes to nursing homes.

Lantern, an assisted living facility in Ohio and a number of other locations around the US, revamped their indoor spaces to look like an authentic neighborhood. The facility features living units that look like houses, equipped with porches and everything. There’s carpeting that looks like grass, ceiling lighting that mimics a partly-cloudy sky, and other decorative elements like street lights and garden-like flora.

Bored Panda got in touch with Jean Makesh, the CEO of Lantern and the man behind this idea. We asked him about the origins of this idea: “I simply wanted to address the pain. I always believed and to this day believe that if I don’t, who else will?”

He continued: “As an occupational therapist, a caregiver, a care provider, and a businessman, it is my responsibility to take care of my elderly clients and families. The design I have in all my communities are influenced by the elderly clients that I served over time and serve now. I made a conscious and a difficult decision to only listen to my elderly clients. They taught me everything I know today.”

Its “neighborhood” design aims to provide a healthy environment to the elderly with memory problems.

Besides the looks, the nursing home also strives to mimic the feel of the place by setting up ambient sound and smell. So, whenever the inhabitants leave their units, they are greeted by friendly bird chirping and the smells of the outside. This way, all of their senses are stimulated to feel as if they never left their homes to live in a nursing facility.

Makesh explained that the environment is key in dealing with memory illness and other typical mental problems of the elderly years. Alzheimer’s patients, for example, experience a great amount of confusion in elderly homes, so creating a more familiar setting helps to alleviate their struggles.

“As an occupational therapist, I was trained to approach everything scientifically. I researched every concept to ensure that my designs were scientific and had elements of science to support everything that my elderly clients taught me,” explained Makesh.

To read the rest of the article, click here.

The development of retirement villages is a specialist field and Shire consultants complete the standard professional team of developers who are planning or executing new retirement developments. To find out more about us, click here.

Is independent living the right choice for you?

Is independent living the right choice for you?

Interested in moving to a retirement home or retirement community? Explore your options and learn how to make the best choice for your needs.

What is independent living?

Independent living is simply any housing arrangement designed exclusively for older adults, generally those aged 55 and over. Housing varies widely, from apartment-style living to freestanding homes. In general, the housing is friendlier to aging adults, often being more compact, with easier navigation and no maintenance or garden work to worry about.

While residents live independently, most communities offer amenities, activities, and services. Often, recreational centres or clubhouses are available on site to give you the opportunity to connect with peers and participate in community activities, such as arts and crafts, holiday gatherings, continuing education classes, or movie nights. Independent living facilities may also offer facilities such as a swimming pool, fitness centre, tennis courts, even a golf course or other clubs and interest groups. Other services offered may include onsite spas, beauty and hairdresser salons, daily meals, and basic housekeeping and laundry services.

Since independent living facilities are aimed at older adults who need little or no assistance with activities of daily living, most do not offer medical care or nursing staff. You can, however, hire in-home help separately as required.

As with any change in living situation, it’s important to plan ahead and give yourself time and space to cope with change. By using these tips, you can find an independent living arrangement that makes your life easier, prolongs your independence, and enables you to thrive in your retirement.

Types of independent living facilities and retirement homes

There are many types of independent living facilities, from apartment complexes to separate houses, which range in cost and the services provided.

  • Low-income or subsidized senior housing
  • Senior apartments or congregate care housing.
  • Retirement homes/retirement villages.
  • Continuing Care Retirement Communities

The key difference between independent living and other housing options is the level of assistance offered for daily living activities. If you require round-the-clock help with eating, dressing, and using the bathroom, or require regular medical assistance, other housing options such as assisted living facilities or nursing homes may be a better fit.

To read more about HelpGuide’s tips for coping with a move to independent living, click here.

Shire is proud to provide a range of quality,  independent, personalised services to the retirement market – We look forward to being of service to you. To find out more about the services on offer by Shire, click here.